Growing

I had a conversation with my mom this morning and she sounded kind of hurt that I didn't tell her I was going to dinner with my sister. She had been texting with my sister and she told our mother about it. I didn't think it was a secret, I just hadn't said anything about it. Sooo,

While I was talking to my mom, I admitted that I really liked having "Sister Time" with my younger sister. I was sorry that we didn't get along very well when growing up. I have my theories about this, and I tried co convey to my mom. One of them is that my sister and I were forced to share a room our entire school years. I also told my mom that I resented this, but now I was trying to make it better. I want to do all kinds of nice adventures with my sister. I want to confide in her, share our joy, laugh like cackling chickens, cook, bake and travel together.

My mother agreed and I could hear the happiness in her voice, she laughed a little and I knew it brought her comfort to know her oldest girl was still growing.

Thanks to my mother for always understanding and helping me become a better person, even though I may not realize it at the time.

I Carry A Torch

I will admit it, I carry a torch in my heart for every damn guy I have ever loved. Part of me wants to think that is disgusting and is just clogging up my heart for future love. The truth of the matter is, I need to love myself. Then I can let all these little torches free.
My recent break-up has left me devastated and I still continue to talk to this man.
Why? What the hell am I going to gain?
He told me I was his "Best Friend" and "I saved his life" for what?
So you could dump me and move away and then tell me that it was all for the better and that you need to better yourself.
So that you could tell me "You liked me way more than I liked you" and that is supposed to make me feel better? WTF?
I should listen to my friend when she tells me about narcissistic beings who wait to take advantage of you and then hit you when you are down.
He tells you that he "snapped" a few weeks ago. You snapped and wait two weeks to tell me? Oh for Christ sake, that is ridiculous.
There were so many things I wanted to be right about our relationship, but most of them were red flags I should have paid attention to and I didn't, it has taught me a couple of lessons.
Thank you CTS
Merci
Francine

Back to Business!!

After an absence of five plus years, I have decided to re-activate my blogger account. I don't know why, I don't really have anything nice to say right now, but it's better than spewing venom all over Facebook and looking like a giant asshole!

God, I Dislike People

Why is it that you think you are friends with certain people, and they act all snarky behind your back, but when you are in public with them they act all peaches & cream? I know this is an aged old subject, but it just pisses me off.
I try really hard to be friendly with most of the people in my scene, but for some reason or another, they don't like me. Maybe it is just my imagination, and I know a person cannot be friends with everyone, but it still hurts.
Most of the time I don't even care if I go out to shows anymore. My best friend hardly even pays any attention to me.
People grow apart, but still remain friends, and I guess I'll just have to accept that fact. It seems I'm not part of the new set of friends that has cropped up over the past year and a half.
I'll just have to accept it an move on myself.

No Smoking

After the insane cold I've had for the last week and a half, I have decided to quit smoking again. I lasted 4 months before, so we'll see how long I can last this time. xxx, Kitty

Weekend At Monnie's

Saturday I woke up at 11:45am, and panicked because I was supposed to leave to go to Monnie's house and I was still in my neglige at Adam's house. Naturally I fell back to sleep as I'd had a cold for a week and a half, my wonderful BF made me coffee and brought it to me in bed. Finally I get up and get dressed and ready to go back home and ready for my trip.
It took me half an hour to get on the freeway with the traffic all hell here in Seattle. Finally I was on the road and heading up north to see my girly friend.
I arrived a little after 4pm, and was ready to start partying.
After much friendly chit chat we got ready to go out for the evening. Monnie had a wonderful time planned which involved going to the 3B to see the Lucky Devil Girly Show and then dancing with the drag queens at Rumors. First we headed over to the Roque Tavern, ran into an old fling, Monnie had her double rum & diet coke, I had a plain diet coke. Still not drinking.
Oh yes and the blonde dread locked guy tried to worm into my pinball game, but I beat him way. Personally dreadlocks are the grossest form of non-hair I can imagine. I hate them!
Anyway, after the Rogue we went to the 3B Tavern to see the show. It was really great. I loved it! More on this later. I have to get back to work.......